Stage on!
by Leto

"Perfect! You're absolutely perfect!"

Ash stopped walking and blinked. "I'm... perfect?"

Misty smirked, "that's hard to believe."

Ash looked like he was about to start arguing, but the man whose shout had arrested him in the first place broke in.

"Not you, child! I refer to the Pikachu!"

"Oh... yeah, Pikachu is perfect!"


Pikachu blushed.

"It's exactly right!" The man looked Pikachu over thoughtfully, blue eyes gleaming with pleasure.

"Uh... no offense, but why'd you stop us to tell us that?" asked Brock. He'd learnt to be a little suspicious of strangers who took an interest in Pikachu. They could be working for Team Rocket.

The man held out his business card. "The name's David Snap."

"Snap? Are you any relation to Todd?"

"Of course, he's my son!"

Ash grinned. "Nice to meet you."

"And I you. Your Pikachu is exactly right!"

"Now you're starting to sound like your son. You're not a photographer, are you?"

"Well, not exactly..." Snap pulled a bag from his shoulder and extracted... "I am a cameraman though!"

Ash, Misty and Brock facefaulted. Pikachu groaned, a bit tired of having a camera constantly following it, whether normal or video.

"I'm making a Pokemon TV series starring Pokemon acting as humans do. Have you ever heard of the famous 'A day in the life'?"

"Yeah, I think I've heard of it," mused Brock, "isn't that the one where Pokemon are demeaned by having to wear ridiculous and tacky outfits and made to do stupid things, with human voice overs?"

"That's exactly it!" said Snap, beaming. "That's the show I work on. And I've been looking for a co-star for the next episode. I've found it at last, in your Pikachu!"

"I'm sorry," said Ash, "but we're on a journey and we can't be delayed any more. But the main reason is, Pikachu's a bit camera shy and I don't want to cause you any trouble if -"

"There's $5000 in it for you," replied Snap.

"Well, if you insist..."


"Here's the deal," said Snap in a serious tone. "Your Pikachu has to act as though it is getting married to another Pokemon. You can do the voice over if you like for your Pikachu. It's only a ten minute sketch, and I'm sure it'll come off really well."

"Well, it doesn't sound too bad," said Ash, "as long as Pikachu doesn't have to wear a bride's dress or anything."

"No, no, we've got a bride. Pikachu will get to wear a tux though."

"Oh, how cute!" said Misty. Pikachu sighed a little air-mushroom, and its cheeks sparkled.


"Okay, that's just right! Now, Pikachu, sit still there. The minister Meowth will marry you."

"Pikaa?! Pi pika..." (Meaning: "Meowth?! I've got a bad feeling about this...")

"I've found the perfect Pokemon in a minister!" said Snap proudly, "a Pokemon that doesn't require a voice over! Isn't that excellent? Its trainers, like you, were happy to loan him to us."

Meowth walked out, wearing a cossack, and glared at Snap. "I'll have you know, I'm only doin' this for the money."

Misty, Ash, Pikachu and Brock cracked up laughing. Pikachu gasped "pika pika, pikachu pi..." (It is Meowth, but it's worth it...") Ash nodded.

Meowth glared at them all.

"Now Meowth," said Jessie in an overly-cheery voice, "you promised you'd behave!"

"That's right, Pokemon!" agreed James, trying not laugh. "You should obey your trainers!"

Meowth slashed them both across the face. "The day you two are my trainers is the day... is the day... gahh, I can't think of a single way to finish that sentence. Nothing's long enough."

Jessie and James started laughing, and Meowth sighed, resigning himself to the cheerful thought of $5000.

Ash, Misty and Brock watched Team Rocket with suspicion, but decided to assume this was one of their good days. (ie a day when they could exist in the same room without killing each other)

"Okay, everyone! Set up like rehearsed! Now, humans get off the set. We're having a Pokemon wedding!"

Everyone took their places, Pikachu and Meowth both reluctant. The Wedding March began to play.

The Pokemon guests who sat in the church replica's aisles, stood up respectfully as the bride entered the room.

Pikachu and Meowth only just managed to stop themselves from squawking in shock. Outside the studio, Team Ash and Team Rocket started howling with laughter.

'I thought they'd at least get female Pikachu,' thought Pikachu disappointedly. It'd been looking forward to the prospect of meeting a cute girl.

"Jigglypuff!" chirped the bride merrily as she took her place at the front of the 'church'.

Truth be told, the Jigglypuff looked a bit embarassed too, but decided to put up with it because Snap had promised her she could sing for another segment of the show.

Meowth got his urge to laugh under control and began, an unlikely priest. "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today..."


"Perfect!" declared Snap. "Cut! That's excellent, now we're nearly finished. We just have to film the honeymoon scene."

"Pikachu pii?!" (Honeymoon scene?!)

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